Cry
by ellie gilmore
Summary: The song "Cry" by Kelly Clarkson inspired me to write this oneshot. Please read and review! Disclaimer: I own nothing, neither the show, nor the song.


_**Cry**_

RORY: _Does it have to be all or nothing?_

LOGAN: _Yeah, it does._

RORY: _But we could at least try._

LOGAN: _What's the point?_

RORY: _So..._

LOGAN: _So... goodbye, Rory._

***

LORELAI: _How you doing, honey?_

RORY: _Uh, okay._

LORELAI: _Yeah?_

RORY: _Well, I'm not okay. I feel awful. I feel sick. I miss him already._

LORELAI: _I know._

RORY: _And it just sucks, you know, because I graduated today. This was supposed to be a happy day in my life, and now when I look back on it, I'm just gonna think about this horrible thing that happened._

LORELAI: _I'm sorry._

_***_

_If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you,  
I'll swallow my pride  
and bite my tongue  
Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong _

It was supposed to be Rory's happiest day.  
What came out was the most horrible day she'd ever had.  
She'd turned down Logan's proposal. She hated herself for turning it down. But then again… she did it for herself. God, she was so selfish. Logan loved her like he had never loved anyone before. He really did and she, Rory, had nothing better to do than turning him down.  
She wondered how she was going to survive this. Would this hole where once her heart had been, ever be refilled again?

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
_

At first she hadn't had the power to cry. It's been as if she was empty, completely empty. And she really didn't want to cry in front of her mother. Her mother who thought she'd made the right decision. Afterwards Rory actually had wondered what kind of mother actually wished that her daughter didn't marry the man she knew was the love of her life. And then again she couldn't understand Logan's reaction. He knew that she loved him. Why had it to be all or nothing?

_If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we just grew apart  
Yeah what do I care  
If they believe me or not  
Whenever I feel  
Your memory is breaking my heart  
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong  
_

The following days and weeks were pure acting. And Rory was a great actress. Lorelai knew that Rory acted like there was nothing wrong. Rory didn't care. She told people what they wanted to hear: they grew apart and moved on. Especially the Stars Hollow people didn't know about the proposal. And they would never get to know it.

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
_

Every morning when Rory woke up she hoped that everything would be the same like it was before her graduation. She and Logan would be the happiest couple on earth and nothing could tear them apart. And every evening she cried herself to sleep.

_I'm talking in circles  
I'm lying, they know it  
Why won't this just all go away_

"Dear Rory,  
I'm writing a letter I'm never going to send to you. I hate myself for not giving us a chance. But why did you turn me down? I'll never be able to understand it. You were the love of my life, you are the only woman I've ever loved.  
There are theses waves. Why won't theses waves go away? I'm not getting what I'm doing. I'm not me anymore. When I look into the mirror I see a stranger. It's not me.  
You once sad I had the most beautiful, sparkling eyes. The sparkles are gone. You are gone. Have you ever loved me? Has everything been a lie? I hope not.  
I love you, Rory Gilmore. I always will.

Forever and always,  
Logan"

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
Cry_

**Author's Note:** Ok, this is what came out, when I heard the song "Cry" by Kelly Clarkson. It made me write this oneshot. And for everyone who hates me because I haven't updated my other story for more than a year: I'm so sorry. I'll try and come up with another chapter sometime in the next few weeks.

Please review for this oneshot!


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